Shame and trauma are the essence of addiction and co dependency. Marcus Aurelius said “the impediment to action advances action, what stands in the way becomes the way” To recover we have to come out of denial and become honest about our shame and trauma and to be willing to go through the pain of coming out of hiding and addressing those painful things that brought us down and still hold us captive. One of the first things that we have to come to realize is that IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.